A Wall Is A Terrible Idea

A Wall Is A Terrible Idea

A Great Wall Of America is technically impossible and utterly irrelevant. Worse, it would forever mar North America, leading to poverty and stagnation.

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Gun Control Kills

What would have happened on 9/11 if this were truly the Land Of the Free.

What would have happened on 9/11 if this were truly the Land Of the Free.

For sixteen long years, libertarians have maintained that 9/11 would not have occurred if individuals weren’t Unconstitutionally denied their right to protect themselves.

Even if there were only one armed individual on each aircraft, they’d stand a good chance of killing a terrorist. The terrorist would be facing an unknown enemy from an unknown direction. Eventually the shooter would bring him down.

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It’s Time To Send the H-1Bs Home

Think this, but more geek.

Think this, but more geek.

My apologies to some of my staunchest libertarian and an-cap friends, but I’m going to have to make a semi-heretical suggestion.

Ordinarily I’d advocate that the Federal Government get out of private business entirely (or disappear completely), and indeed, I’d love to see it do so. However, I’m going to suggest a fairly minor policy change that would instantly rebound the economy.

It’s an entirely practical, easily-implementable idea that’s of benefit to both politicians and voters. Both major parties could have something bi-partisan to do, if they were actually so inclined. It would cost them no votes.

If just one party did it, they could write their own ticket for the next decade.

The one, simple thing that would instantly turn the economy around is this:

Send the H-1B visa-holders home.

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“Airport Security” Is Impossible

“Airport Security” Is Impossible
Ohio Scientific C8P-DF

Ohio Scientific Model C8P-DF

As a boy, when my friends and I played Star Trek in the back yard, I was always Spock.  The character held an “A7 computer expert” rating.  When questioned about his qualifications during Kirk‘s court-martial, he testified simply:  “I know all about them.”  He was an expert with a Tricorder, able to extend its functionality using primitive technology.

In 1979 (I was 14 years old), my father purchased his first business computer.  It was a state-of-the-art Ohio Scientific C8P-DF, notable for its dual 8″ floppy drives capable of storing a massive 275K.

I was hooked.

The first computer I owned was the venerable Commodore 64.  Even today, it remains the best-selling personal computer of all time.  It sold over 17 million units and boasted over 10,000 software titles.

Motorola Droid Tricorder App

Android Tricorder App

My current computer of choice is the Motorola Droid.  Aside from scanning for life forms, it embodies all the functions of the Tricorder — and considerably more.

I eventually made my career in computing.  I have touched IBM mainframes, AS/400s, servers, PCs, Macs, laptops, netbooks, blades, virtual machines, iPod/Phone/Pads, Androids, routers, switches, load-balancers, mass storage devices, and firewalls.

With a career in computing comes degrees (I hold both an Associate and Bachelor of Science in Computer Science) and certifications.

One of these is the CISSP or “Certified Information Systems Security Professional.”  I obtained this in the year 2000 — before the tragic events of 9/11.  I might also add that it is the single most difficult exam I’ve ever taken.  No college exam in any subject, nor any other certification, comes close to the difficulty of the CISSP exam.

A typical data center

A typical data center.

While the CISSP is devoted to security as it relates to information systems, a major part deals with physical security as it relates to data centers.  This is important, as today’s data center can hold exabytes of data.

An exabyte is a million terabytes: roughly one million times the amount of data found on modern commercial hard drives.  Indeed, it’s estimated that Google alone processes about 24 petabytes of data every day (only a thousand times the size of commercial hard drives).

Information stored in modern data centers can include everything from your financial and medical history to the blog you’re reading now.  Obviously, one of the jobs of a qualified CISSP is to make sure that no one can simply walk into a data center and access the data storage hardware.

It was while studying the physical security section of the CISSP that I realized that what’s called “airport security” is nothing of the kind.  In fact, “airport security” is simply impossible.

The concept of “airport security” is actually Access Control.  “Access Control” is a catch-all concept that basically boils down to the idea of controlling who can get into a particular area and who can’t.

The reason that access control is impossible in an airport is very, very simple.  The underpinning of all access control is this concept:

Deny access to everyone but a few individuals.

“Airport security” attempts the reverse:

Allow access to everyone but a few individuals.

This is flatly impossible.

No individual, company, military, or government has ever devised a method to allow everyone in but keep a few out.  Every single individual, company, military, or government in existence implements access control by denying access to everyone but a select few.

Imagine, for a moment, that the Secret Service were to emulate “airport security” as regards access control to the President of the United States.  Starting tomorrow, anyone who wanted access to the President could have it and the Secret Service would concentrate on screening out those individuals bent on doing him harm.

The President could count his life expectancy in hours — perhaps only minutes.

The Secret Service handles access control the only way possible:  by establishing a perimeter around the President.  This perimeter denies access to everyone and only allows through a select few that were screened.

Maintaining this perimeter when the President is in public is what causes Secret Service agents to have nightmares.  It’s why entire freeways close when his motorcade passes.  It’s why Air Force One exists instead of the President flying via commercial jet.

Access control in a public place (such as an airport) is by definition impossible.

I’m rather naturally prone to a certain level of paranoia.  It’s part of what makes me good at information security:  I’m willing to imagine that which the average individual will not.  It’s why I’ve engaged in a now 15-year-long series of mental exercises regarding “airport security.”

TSA Porn

This is not “security”.

Since the Oklahoma City Bombing, every time I’ve been in line at “airport security,” I have amused myself imagining ways to subvert it.  Nothing — I repeat, nothing — the Transportation Security Agency has ever put in place would deter me from causing death and destruction if I so desired.  This includes their most recent institution of invasive X-Ray machines and “pat-downs” that would qualify as sexual assault were it to occur anywhere other than airports.

Indeed, I’m absolutely certain that I could smuggle a small-frame revolver onto any aircraft I liked.  I’ll not go into details unless asked, but there is absolutely no barrier to a determined individual doing so if they wish.

Were airports to institute true access control, their makeup would change radically — and in the process violate every one of the Bill of Rights.

The precepts of physical access control rest on three pillars:

  1. Something you have
  2. Something you are
  3. Something you know

Something you have is usually a magnetic key card issued solely to you.  If lost or stolen, it is immediately reported so that it will invalidated and a new one issued.  Magnetic key cards are swiped or held against a scanner that then checks with a computer database to ensure that this key has access to the area being controlled.

Something you are is biometric data, usually hand or fingerprints (though retinal and other biometric information is becoming more common).  The user places their hand on a scanner which then checks it against a computer database to ensure that this hand/fingerprint has access to the area being controlled.  It’s cross-referenced against the key card to ensure that the individual associated with the key card is also the individual associated with the hand/fingerprint.

Something you know is usually a password or PIN that the user changes at regular intervals.  Password rules are typically enforced as well, so as to prevent the user from choosing one that is easily deduced.  This password is also checked against a database and cross-referenced with both the key card and hand/fingerprint to assure that all three are assigned to the same individual.

Let’s imagine an airport where true access control is implemented:

Firstly, freedom of movement would be restricted.  Anyone who wished to travel by air would be required to undergo an extensive background investigation of the kind usually associated with government security clearances.  This is at best a multi-month process involving reams of paperwork in which the passenger would be required to report everything from their blood type to their credit history.

A handprint.

If the individual passed the background investigation, they would then be issued a permanent air access pass.  Their fingerprints, hand prints, and other biometric information would be collected by the TSA and held permanently.  They would be establish a secure password, which they would be required to change every few weeks, regardless of whether they’ve traveled by air or not.

A "secure" airport

A truly secure airport.

Physically, airports would resemble prisons.  At the least they would be surrounded with high fences (optimally concrete) topped with barbed wire.  Optimally, they would be entirely enclosed, save for jetways, aircraft parking slots, and runways.

Passengers would not have access via car, limousine, or public transportation.  Commercial vehicles of any kind would be restricted to parking areas well outside the airport.

A passenger wishing to enter would swipe their permanently issued pass key, place their palm on a hand-reader, and enter their password.  This would allow them physical access to the airport facility, but not allow access to any boarding area or flight.

Diagram of a Man-Trap

Diagram of a man-trap.

The passenger would then enter a man-trap.  This is a hallway containing two doors.  Only one door will open at a time: the entry door are closed before the exit door open.  The interior consists of concrete walls, floor, and ceiling.

At this point, the passenger would be required to surrender their baggage by leaving it in the man-trap.  There would be no carry-on baggage.  It would be placed on a stand resting in front of the only other exit from the man-trap:  a suitcase-sized 6″-thick steel sliding door operated remotely.

Utilizing the pass-key/handprint/password again, the passenger would leave the man-trap.

Baggage Search

Mandatory baggage search.

An operator would then open the baggage door and baggage would be transported via conveyor to inspectors.  The inspectors would then subject it to a rigorous manual search prior to tagging it with a radio sensor for tracking and appropriate routing.

Meanwhile, the passenger would proceed to the boarding area for their flight, again utilizing the key card, hand/fingerprint, and password to enter the boarding area.  The system would allow entry only to the boarding area of the flight for which the passenger is booked.

When boarding the flight, the passenger would enter the jetway via the same method.  The jetway, however, would be another man-trap, allowing only a single passenger at a time.  Entry to the aircraft would be accomplished using the key card, hand/fingerprint and password.

The same methods would then be used at the passenger’s destination, in reverse.

That would be airport security.

Understand that anyone with training in access control knows that it is impossible to secure a public place.  Every officer in every military in every country knows it.  Every Secret Service agent knows it.  Every FBI or CIA agent knows it.

Every TSA agent knows it.

What is occurring now, with naked x-rays and pat-down-rapes provides absolutely no barrier to terrorists.  Every single individual who has ever had experience with true access control knows this, and that includes every President, Vice-President, Speaker of the House, Congressman, and Senator.

What, then, is the purpose of “airport security” if not to provide a barrier to terrorists?

It’s two-fold:

Firstly, the overwhelming majority of individuals in the United States has no experience with true access control.  Their experience is limited to their workplace, which may issue a magnetic key card.  By itself, a key card offers very limited security, but in the workplace, it’s typically adequate.

After 9/11, passengers realized that airports could be accessed by terrorists and demanded the Federal Government “do something.”  Since there is no way to implement access control at a public place, those in power chose to use the event to establish procedures that offer no barrier to terrorists — but that are mistaken as such by the general public.

Over the next decade, these procedures became increasingly draconian, to the point where we are today:  airports that afford easy access to terrorists while only violating the rights of all passengers in the process.

The second (perhaps unintentional) purpose of “airport security” is far more dangerous and sinister than simply making passengers feel safer:

It has conditioned almost an entire generation of Americans that their rights are taken from them any time government claims it’s for the “common good.”

In short:  it has conditioned us to be sheep.

Is there a solution to the problem of terrorists having access to aircraft?  Indeed there is, and it can be implemented without resorting to the means described above.  It costs nothing, and in fact will allow the TSA to be disbanded and all “airport security” to be torn down.

The Bill of Rights

The Bill of Rights

The solution is simple:  enforce the Bill of Rights on aircraft.

That is, instead of making sure that every passenger is disarmed, degraded, and treated like criminals, simply allow the Second Amendment to be exercised by anyone who cares to do so.

There is, after all, no wording in the Second Amendment that says “unless the Federal Government says otherwise.”

I’m sure there are readers who will find this an alarming solution, but consider:

Until 1978, any passenger could board any aircraft in America with any form of firearm.

You read that right:  from 1903 until 1978 — a period of 74 years — any American could board any aircraft carrying any weapon of his/her choice.  Knives, handguns, and rifles were permitted; either concealed, carried openly, or packed in a briefcase.

For almost a three-quarters of a century, not a single individual was shot, nor a single cabin depressurized by a stray bullet, nor a single aircraft flown into a building.

It’s true that aircraft were occasionally hijacked.  It should be noted that their success depended on the Federal Aviation Administration’s policy of complying with a hijacker’s demands.

In a post-9/11 world, no would-be terrorist would successfully hijack a plane filled with armed passengers.  They would simply overwhelm the terrorist, even if it meant injury or death to some passengers in the process.

The alternative — another 9/11 or worse — would be unthinkable to armed passengers.

Indeed, there is ample evidence that were aircraft filled with individuals capable of defending themselves with lethal force, a would-be terrorist wouldn’t even make the attempt.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I’ll leave you with the immortal contribution to this subject by the fantastic Scott Beiser.  Even if you place guns in the hands of the would-be terrorists, it makes no difference.

Scott Bieser September 11 Cartoon

What might have happened on 9/11 if this were truly the “Land of the Free”

An Open Letter To Mark Penn

Dear Mr. Penn:

Having recently watched a video of an MSNBC program on which you were a guest, I thought it might be helpful for you if I quoted the late Bill Hicks:

By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising … kill yourself.  No joke here, really. Seriously: if you are, do.

No, really:  there’s no rationalization for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers.

Kill yourself — seriously.  You are the ruiner of all things good.


Kill yourself.

I know you’re all waiting for a joke coming, but there’s no fucking joke coming.

You are Satan’s spawn.  You are filling the world with violent garbage.  You are fucked and you are fucking us.  Kill yourself. It is the only way to save your fucking soul.  Kill yourself.

I know all the Marketing people are going, “He’s doing a joke — ”

No, there’s no joke here whatsoever.

Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself, get a pistol — I don’t care how you do it, just rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.

I know what all the Marketing people are thinking right now:

“Oh, you know what Bill’s doing?  He’s going for that anti-marketing dollar.  That’s very smart.”

No, man, I’m not doing that, you evil scumbags!

“Oooooh, you know what bill’s doing now?  He’s going for that righteous indignation dollar.  That’s a big dollar — a lot of people are feeling that indignation.  We’ve done research — huge market.  He’s doing a good thing!”

Goddammit, I’m not doing that, you scumbags!  Quit putting a dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

“Oooooh, the anger dollar!  Huge — huge in times of recession!  Bill’s very bright to do that!”

God, I’m caught in a fucking web!

“Oooooh, the trapped dollar!  Big dollar, huge dollar!  Look at our research:  we see that many feel trapped, and we play to them and separate them and — ”

I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?  You go home, the wife asks, “What’d you do today, honey?” and you say:

“Oh, we made arsenic a childhood food, now.  Good night!” and you sleep like fucking children, don’t you?

That fairly well sums up my attitude regarding you.  Anyone who can think up the notion that a terrorist bombing would be good for a President is … well, again I’ll simply point you back to Mr. Hicks’ comments on the subject, above.

Ordinarily, I’d sign an email with something like, “all the best” or “yours sincerely”, but since I clearly wish you nothing but the earliest possible grave that you can arrange for yourself, I’ll simply end with:

Make sure the garage door is closed,

Bill Stone

P.S. –

Register Your C.L.I.T.

Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers

Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve seen come from a government — and that’s saying a lot, given the sociopathic narcissists we’ve had running the Federal Government for the last hundred years or so.

The State of South Carolina actuallly passed a law requiring subversive organizations to register with the State.

For a five-dollar fee, no less.

This is why I have such a difficult time taking terrorist threats seriously.  The gaping holes in logic that would allow the stupidest State legislator to spend more than a picosecond’s time considering this legislation are so stark that it’s not even worthy of comment.

Think of this for a moment:  not only did it make sense to one legislature, it made sense to both the South Carolina House, Senate, and its Governor.  Really.  You can’t make this up.  No one would believe it if you did.

I want to be clear that I’m not in any way suggesting or condoning subversive activity, fraud, or anything illegal.  That in mind, I’m curious what would stop someone from downloading the form, filling it out out with bogus information, and then mailing it in — without the required fee?

Think about it for a moment:  in a country in which we now have a KGB (sorry, that’s Department Of Homeland Security here in the U.S.) what would the State of South Carolina be forced to do if they started receiving these forms?

Lacking the five-dollar fee, they couldn’t file it.  They couldn’t just throw it away, either.  It would need to be investigated, both by the State and then passed on to Federal officials.

I’m simply curious how much KGB manpower might be thrown at it, should the State of South Carolina suddenly start getting huge numbers of these forms?

It’s just an idle thought.  I’m explicitly not suggesting that anyone download the form; fill it out using an organization name like “Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers“; use “Bubbles the Chimp” as the chief agent’s name; and use the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ mission statement for the organization’s goals.

The Shouting Men Of Finland

Not the FBI

The reason I’m not suggesting (or even implying) this is because it would be fraudulent.  And having mentioned the details in public, the next knock on my door would be from men in dark suits from the FBI.

So honestly, don’t do it.  Really.  Honestly, I’m not kidding:  don’t do anything illegal.

If, however, you’re a member of a subversive organization, I’d like to reiterate the State’s instructions.  Indeed, if you’re a member of a subversive organization, I would demand that you register with the State:

  1. Download and complete PDF form that you can find at this link
  2. When you’ve completed the form, follow the directions and make sure you send it and a $5.00 filing fee to:

South Carolina Secretary of State’s Office
Attn: Corporate Filings
P.O. Box 11350
Columbia, SC 29211

Make absolutely certain that you include the filing fee of $5.00.  As mentioned above, to do otherwise would no doubt cause some level of unnecessary consternation with various government agencies.  If you’re a credible subversive organization, it’s shouldn’t be hard to come up with five bucks.

Finally, I have a request for subversive agencies registering with the State of South Carolina:

I’m aware that subversives typically take precautions against detection.  In this circumstance, that might include:

  • Explicitly purchasing all supplies necessary to the task, including: face mask, gloves, bottled water, paper, stamps, and envelopes.
  • Thoroughly cleaning (optimally sterilizing) the work area where the registration is prepared.
  • Wearing the aforementioned face mask and gloves when handling the form and supplies.
  • Using the aforementioned bottled water rather than saliva to wet the stamp.
  • Destruction of all remaining supplies purchased for the task.  Any remaining paper, stamps, or envelopes from the supplies purchased for the task would be destroyed.
  • Dispersing any evidence of the aforementioned destruction over as wide a geographic area as possible.  Optimally, it would be dispersed near the South Carolina State Capital building.
  • Mailing the registration from a random mailbox so out-of-the-way that you’d neither been there before nor could you find your way home without a GPS.  Preferably said mailbox should be in another state not bordering your own.  Optimally, the registration would be posted from within the South Carolina State Capital building.
  • Only discussing the registration and mailing with those immediately associated with the act, and then never mentioning it again, under any circumstances.  This would particularly apply to periods of intoxication or the temptation to discuss it with close friends or family members.

I would explicitly request, simply as a favor, that you refrain from such precautions in this instance.  If you are indeed a subversive organization, I would be eager to see you charged with any crimes you may have committed.  Taking steps to evade detection would obviously hamper any investigation against you.

Just obey the law — to do otherwise would be illegal.

U.S. Police State?

Facts indeed.

The relevant portion of the text:

There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.